A quick word to the wise: next time you go to the dentist to get your teeth cleaned and checked, watch out for Olga The Ukrainian Devil-Hygenist. She does exist, and she works for my dentist. I'd never seen her in the 5 yrs I been to this dentist, and at first, she was friendly enough. We chit-chatted about Eastern Europe...I pretended to know more about Dostoyevsky and Bulgakov than I do...I shared a (false) appreciation for the good old Communist days when life was easy and organized...we talked about good beet salad and strong vodka.
THEN Olga turned mean. She took out a wee drill and proceded to scrape both my teeth and the inside of ever single one of my gums (or is there just one gum?). This did not feel good.
Then she shifted the water/suction tool so it kept sucking my tongue. Under some circumstances, perhaps that would be ok, but not in a dentist chair with a sharp sharp tool poised to impale me.
Next, Olga The Ukrainian Devil-Hygenist shoved a cup in my hand and barked, "Now rinse!" although what was implied was "...you dirty American who never flosses bastard!" I rinsed, and she ripped a few feet of floss out of her (weapons) drawer.
Floss in hand, Olga yanked what felt like thick rope between my teeth. If they could talk, my teeth and gums would have said "Stop, you crazy woman!" They didn't and neither could I.
After it was all over, I stumbled out of the dentist's office - only to find a nice 8 1/2 x 11 flourescent orange sticker on my window that said "PARKING VIOLATION: A TOWING COMPANY HAS BEEN CALLED". I slowly pulled off the sticker and high-tailed it out of there.
Bad start to day - but going to restaurant tonight in NYC with great repution (Public) so hopefully will end well.
Enjoy your weekends! NATHAN
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