Fiftieth posting - LoL

Friends, I am writing to you from my spankin’ new laptop. It’s smooth and sleek, and fast as lightning. Most of you know I am moving West for a new job soon, so why a new laptop now? During my last day of work, two thieves burglarized my condo and took my 7 year old laptop (which is about 100 in technology years). I have tried to read some symbolism into the act, but with the way things have been over the past few weeks, nothing should be a surprise.

First of all, though, Happy New Year! At this point, there may be enough days under your collective belts to project this year as one of fortune, fame, disappointment, big change, little change, etc. Mine will absolutely be a year of changes.

I spent Christmas with my family in Oklahoma and witnessed the beauty of a niece and nephew who still believe strongly in the munificence of Santa Claus. I also got in a couple of training runs with my sister and brother in law. My parents don’t really know what to make of our recent interest in fitness – besides a little soccer, neither of us was a particularly athletic kid. In fact, I distinctly recall my mother’s attempt at comforting me after a challenging lesson at tennis camp: “Don’t worry; you just don’t have good large motors skills like your sister. You are better with small motor skills – like surgery.” Gosh, I felt immediately better – wouldn’t any 10 year old? And what does surgery have to do with small motors, and why would my sister want to stop playing with Barbie and play with large motors?

After returning to Connecticut, I spent a few days trying out gyms in the area. I’d always heard about the famous Fairfield Country Ladies of Leisure and wanted to witness their daytime rituals. I learned that mid-morning seems to be the best time for observation at fitness center – it gives LoLs a chance to greet Nanny upon her arrival at home, read the last half of People magazine (“such trash!”), and have a quick manicure at the local spa before showing up fully coiffed and ready for a session with Lars, the Swedish personal trainer. The LoLs are in Spinning classes, on treadmills and elipticals, and at strength machines and even free weights – all eyeing and trying to outrun/ outpace/ outsweat the other. Truth be told, not a single one looked friendly or sociable, so I continued my observations objectively, without interrupting their rituals.

I ended the week with one last day in the office. I could have counted the number of people there on one hand, and with the exception of a nice send-off lunch, I spent the day looking forward to the evening’s plans for cocktails. The night was fun (and the unranked Sooners beat #6 Oregon in a satisfying Holiday Bowl), but I returned home to a key broken off in the lock of my door. After unsuccessfully knocking on my neighbors’ doors (trying to wake the near-dead) and calling the two people who had keys, I phoned the police. Two officers arrived shortly, removed the key part, and we entered to find drawers open, files strewn across the floor, boxes overturned – and both my laptop and an empty giant purple Raisin Bran duffle bag missing. With a few celebratory beers in me, however, I was simultaneously trying to find what was missing and not breathe on the officers.

One of condo board members (the black turtle-necked lisper) showed up and reminded us of the new security cameras, so we headed to the computer in the board room and searched the files. The lisper whizzed through them and found two suspicious people entering the front door at 11:43AM (after 3 mins of trying) and then leaving with a filled giant purple Raisin Bran duffle bag through a side entrance at 12:08PM, followed by another board member (the quiet, meticulous secretary). The police report was filed, and I left the next day for a long relaxing weekend in Vermont, and returned to have another lock installed.

Those of you who’ve been regular readers of this blog have accompanied me through my trials and tribulations with finding, buying and renovating my condo. With the ink barely dry on the sixteen thousand documents I signed last July, I put my condo on the market on Friday. I cleaned my place and removed photos and most personal items, trying to leave a nice and homey impression with 712 sq ft of perfectly hospitable (and buyable) condo. I brewed hazelnut coffee (nice smell, and covers up what may have been left of the ripe combo of geriatric stench + curry), played classical music, and tried to remember the tips people gave me about selling. It seemed to work: after an open house on Friday, and two days of viewings, I started the day today (Monday) with four offers. Now it’s just wait and see.

Today I may try another gym across town and see what it’s like being a Lad of Leisure…

Have a great week, mi amigos, and Happy Birthday to my friend Dave … Dave Matthews, that is, who turns 39 today. NATHAN (congrats, Boo, on your half-marathon)