Twenty-seventh posting - floor

It's been too long since I last posted, but I will share a few thoughts before I give blood (which you should do, if you can...).

Expect everything wrong to happen when you move. The tub is going to get clogged, the tile guy will do a shitty job, the spanking new stove will sit in your living rooom for a week until the floor guys move it back, and every worker who steps into your apartment will contribute to a thick layer of dust that is beginning to coat everything. But you will have new neighbors...

I am the youngest person on the 4th floor by at least 40 years. Anne, who lives across from me, doesn't like to wear shoes (she told me) and keeps her toenails at least an inch long. She reminds me of shapeless troll, although she does rearrange my New York Times so it's nice and neat because the delivery guy is so careless... And then there's Carmine, who lives next door. He's 60 or so and is fond of wearing a speedo and gold chains to show off his over-tanned, leather-like skin. After introducing myself, Carmine asked me if I was Jewish. I replied that I wasn't and asked why. He said: "I would have asked you what a nice Jewish boy like you was doing with a tattoo...." It was time for me to go.

Where's the magic wand that makes everything better when you need it? NATHAN