Twenty-eighth posting - ha ha

Short posting with two things that I thought were particularly funny. The first, from a friend describing Fire Island -- "There really is nothing to do but sit in the sun, and everyone was as brown as a nut." The second, a name I swear I heard on NPR -- Rabbit-hat Potpie (for the best linguistic effect, say it out loud). For those of you out there with children's book author aspirations, I hereby grant you permission to use it. NATHAN

Twenty-seventh posting - floor

It's been too long since I last posted, but I will share a few thoughts before I give blood (which you should do, if you can...).

Expect everything wrong to happen when you move. The tub is going to get clogged, the tile guy will do a shitty job, the spanking new stove will sit in your living rooom for a week until the floor guys move it back, and every worker who steps into your apartment will contribute to a thick layer of dust that is beginning to coat everything. But you will have new neighbors...

I am the youngest person on the 4th floor by at least 40 years. Anne, who lives across from me, doesn't like to wear shoes (she told me) and keeps her toenails at least an inch long. She reminds me of shapeless troll, although she does rearrange my New York Times so it's nice and neat because the delivery guy is so careless... And then there's Carmine, who lives next door. He's 60 or so and is fond of wearing a speedo and gold chains to show off his over-tanned, leather-like skin. After introducing myself, Carmine asked me if I was Jewish. I replied that I wasn't and asked why. He said: "I would have asked you what a nice Jewish boy like you was doing with a tattoo...." It was time for me to go.

Where's the magic wand that makes everything better when you need it? NATHAN

Twenty-sixth posting - Murphy

Unfortunately, the magic from Millie’s fingers didn’t last long. Although Saturday was a great dinner group and a terrific night of schnitzel and fun, I feel like I’ve spent my days since then packing, painting, and growing more and more stressed about the Big Move.

Yesterday was particularly fun – late afternoon, my plumber was supposed to come by and install my recently purchased shower and bath fixtures. Because nothing is supposed to go right with my move, he told me (a) that I’d bought shower fixtures without the bath parts, and (b) he couldn’t do the job for me because he didn’t have time. Nice. I made some calls, left some messages, but went to sleep hoping that overnight, this would resolve itself. As I dropped off my car at the shop this morning (why wouldn’t my air conditioner have broken now??), I got a call back from a new plumber – so this may actually have been solved.

But wait, kids, there’s more! This afternoon, my floor guy called and told me that 7 of the 55 tiles he needed for the kitchen floor were broken, so tomorrow he won’t be able to grout everything. He assures me that the tiles under the appliances will be done before my new appliances arrive. I’m sure they won’t be, so my dream kitchen will have to wait.

And, five minutes later the car people called to tell me the parts I need won’t be in until tomorrow. Of course. Fortunately, I get a free rental (with kick-ass cold A/C), so it doesn’t matter that much.

Tomorrow the bathroom guy is supposed to get most of the way done with the shower tiles, so perhaps by Friday he’ll be done, and I Saturday I can use it. Or perhaps I will be showering in the parking lot... NATHAN

Twenty-fifth posting - Millie

For those of you who haven't heard, I got my first full body massage this week. My sister had given me a gift certificate months ago at a fancy local spa, and knowing it was hard to get an after-work appointment, I booked right away. With my pending move, the appointment snuck up on me, but in the midst of the stresses of moving, the timing was perfect.

Because my only experience was with a trainer's sport massage at the company gym, I didn't really know what to expect. I won't go into all the details, but I have a couple of overall thoughts. (I can hear the "Of course you do, Nathan," from everyone...) The music set a pleasant mood, although I was conscious when the theme changed from vaguely Asian waterfalls, to vaguely classical, to vaguely Indian trance... I was never really sure when it was appropriate to talk or comment on what Millie, my masseuse, was doing. At one point, I mentioned I had a bony shoulder from a bike accident (although because I was buck naked, she obviously had seen it). Then Millie said she once had foot trouble walking on the Coney Island boardwalk -- and at the same time she lifted the towel/blanket completely off of my legs, and a suddenly cool breeze where I didn't think there would be breeze that session. Not that I expected her to work under the blanket, but there was a lot more shifting of covers and exposing more body than I thought.

I suppose it's her job, and Millie saw me like a butcher sees a side of beef, or a floor sander sees planks in a newly purchased condo that requires a 25,000 watt generator to be parked behind a building with a four story electrical cord -- so the only intimacy in the room was in my own mind. By the end of the massage, though, I think I overcame the notion that she was being paid to do something illicit, although there's a lingering feeling that she really thought I was special... NATHAN

Twenty-fourth posting - drama

Short post today, friends.

First of all, it's a rest day for the Tour, and I really really really wish I was there to ride in the Alps. Here are a few words from a fellow blogger: "The Alps watch over Grenoble like a brooding, malevolent presence. It is up their narrow roads and over their tree-less summits that the race will now travel. The spectator throngs are already in place. Their campers and pup tents line the roads. The smell of grilling sausage from their portable barbecues rivals the relaxing aroma of wild lavender as the prevalent roadside fragrance. So, yeah, it's a day of rest. But it feels a whole lot more like a prelude to some great drama. The stage is set, now all we need is the actors."

Second, the current drama in my life is my condo. Here's the latest: My floor guys can't find a 220 volt/ 40 amp line that runs into my aparment. For those of you who care, that's 8800 watts (or 8.8 kilowatts). Most of the time, they just tap into the circuit breaker, but for some reason, I have a something-they've-never-seen-in-twelve-years-of-sanding-floors kind of circuit breaker that only has 20 amps. I don't even know what this means, but I'm trying to solve for it. The best solution is to bring in a generator (half the size of a VW beetle), park it beneath my window, and run a 4-story cord up to my place. Who knows what the Association will think...? Who cares...?

Third, I've shifted my moving and furniture delivery dates out one week. Gives the floor guys a little breathing room - and lets me linger next to good neighbor-friends (and a neighborhod I'll miss) for one more week.

And finally, the former tenants in my new place cooked a lot of Indian food and "broom-cleaned" (as required) before they left. Just so you know, "broom-cleaning" does not get rid of 1/4" thick grease off of the cabinets and stovetop vent, and it lingers ever so pleasantly in the air. And upon cursory inspection, the cabinets seems like fine wooden kitchen cabinets. Having scrubbed many of them, however, I now recognize them as cheap-Charlie particle board crap that will be the next big thing to go. Ah, yes, the hidden gems keep popping up.

Without a trace of buyer's remorse, NATHAN

Twenty-third posting - various

I don't know where to begin. Today was a momentous day, last week was a fantastic week, and THE TOUR DE FRANCE IS IN FULL SWING!

1) Today I signed my name a million times, forked over oodles of dough and officially bought a condo. I own a home. I have set down slightly more permanent roots here in CT than I ever thought I would. I already have a few words of advice to those of you out there who are considering buying-- (a) a cheap attorney will get the job done but you'll never really understand what's going on until it's over, (b) when your real estate agent tells you to call the electric company and have the electricity put into your name, listen to her or it will be turned off and you will not be pleased with yourself, and (c) if one of the most important attributes of a place is its wood floor, MAKE ABSOLUTELY SURE that it is allowed. To point (c), I will state that the official condo documents are not completely clear ("Carpets should be maintained at all times ... with the exception of the bathroom and kitchen." To me, this meant that if there was carpet, it should be cared for. I was wrong, but I did convince the condo association to let me have area rugs...but it took all of my negotiating skills to get there.

2) Last week I spent with my family in heavily forested Northwest Wisconsin. Highlights were seeing a mama bear and 3 cubs right next to the cabin, running in the annual Musky Fest 5K and coming in top 15 (21:18), playing baseball on the lawn, fishing with Dad and hooking my brother in law, and for the first time, running 10 miles with my sister on her scheduled training run. For those of you who want to see the famous cabin on a lake, here's a link to the resort -- http://www.garmischresort.com/ .

3) I will end with the TdF, but what a great Team Time Trial! Of course, I don't think anyone thought Discovery would come in anywhere but in first, but it's too bad that the main excitement was for Dave' Zabriskie's bleeding wounds at the finish. Because I don't have OLN until the 15th, I'm forced to live online and watch/read. Blahh. After writing this, I may just see how much it would cost to get back to France for the mountain stages.. The next several stages are really for the sprinters anyway -- I'm just glad to see 3 Americans in the Top 5. Warm up the bus, Jan, it might just be time to go home.

Adieu for nieu, NATHAN